how to change your life by Dec 31

start today

Here’s what most people do to try to change their life:

Step 1. Feel frustrated/shitty/angry/miserable

Step 2. Make a list of things they’re going to change/implement/add to their life (that allows them to suppress this feeling of frustration & hopefully feel better)

Step 3. Circle the top 1-3 or whatever

Step 4. Implement for a day/week/month

Step 5. Fall off the wagon and fail (because the suppressed feelings start to ‘leak’ out and sabotage progress – don’t you effing hate when that happens? lol)

Step 6. Feel frustrated/shitty/angry/miserable (w/o knowing why)

Step 7. Repeat steps 2-6 until they’re old and grey and the life force leaves their body

Here’s what actually works to change your life:

Step 1a. Untangle your attention (via letting go) from the garbage that’s making you feel like shit

Step 1b. Genuinely start to feel lighter and lighter (nothing hurts anymore… i am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)

Step 2. Consciously plug your attention into new power sources (that are in alignment with the new life you want to be living)

Step 3. Sustain your attention until you win

What’s the major difference between the two paths?

Way 1 aka what most people do is the way of ‘addition’ (aka trying to build a house on an unstable foundation).

Way 2 aka what actually works is the way of ‘subtraction’ (aka getting rid of the old foundation completely so a new stable foundation can take its place)

Recognizing this takes just 30 seconds and if you internalize the lesson, then you have everything you need to change your life. So let’s now distill this lesson by answering the question:

Why is subtraction 100x more effective than addition?

Easy.

Imagine a person living in a mold infested house.

This makes them feel like shit and their health rapidly declines.

But imagine the person doesn’t yet know the house has mold (it’s unconscious aka outside their awareness)

All they know is they feel like shit.

So, what do they do? Well if they’re like most people… they’ll start by choosing the way of addition. Maybe this means fixing their diet, changing their sleep, exercising more, getting sunlight, practicing breathwork, whatever (all great things to do)

The belief they hold is:

“If I can just consistently do these things, then I’ll feel good again and change my life.”

But unfortunately…

It doesn’t work.

Why?

You cannot “add” your way into removing the effects of mold.

So what usually happens is the person applies the above, feels better for a day or two (initial high of starting something new and/or placebo effect), and then is eventually back to square one… feeling like shit.

But now imagine this person gets a mold test done and discovers the mold (aka makes the unconscious conscious) and moves out of the house/apartment.

What happens now?

The person instantly feels better.

Even more:

This feeling isn’t temporary, but permanent.

And best of all?

The person didn’t have to “add” anything to make this happen.

All they had to do was “remove” the mold.

Do that and they get better.

But now imagine the person is starting to feel really good and wants to feel even better so he decides to plug his attention into the following power sources:

1. Clean diet

2. 8-9 hours of sleep

3. Daily exercise

4. 60-120+ minutes of sunlight/day

5. Breathwork

What happens now?

The person will go from feeling ‘good’ to feeling ‘great’.

And even better?

He’ll be able to sustain the upward spiral because his consciousness isn’t expending valuable resources/energy to fight off the effects of mold.

So instead this energy now flows into the above power sources and his life starts to get better and better.

Reason I’m using this example is because of two reasons:

Reason #1. Adding positive habits to your life is extremely beneficial, but the benefits are ONLY unlocked after you have deleted the ‘mold’ from your life (I’m going to continue using the word ‘mold’, but now I’m using it outside of the normal definition/health context).

Reason #2. We all have mold/malware/viruses in our life. These may be conscious or unconscious forces. But untangling our attention from these forces is the first and most important step to changing your life (that most people skip).

So with that understood, the question now becomes:

How exactly can you apply this (step-by-step)?

And the answer of course is by doing what I shared earlier:

Step 1. Untangle your attention (aka delete the mold)

Step 2. Consciously plug your attention into new power sources (aka add 1-3 positive habits)

Step 3. Sustain your attention until you win (aka unlock the upward spiral)

Let’s now break these down in detail.

Step 1. Untangle your attention (aka delete the mold)

Think of yourself not just as a human, but as attention.

Now memorize the following law:

What you plug this attention into, you experience.

Now recognize the problem:

You’re currently conditioned to plug this attention into conscious and/or unconscious forces that are full of mold.

Read and reread that again.

These forces, in return, are greatly slowing you down and causing extreme frustration/energy consumption/anxiety.

Examples of conscious forces (slowing you down):

• Toxic relationships

• Social media feeds

• News

• Politics

• Complaining/complainers

• Doomscrolling

• Poor diet

• Pornography

• Drugs/alcohol

• Blue light

You get the point.

Examples of unconscious forces (slowing you down):

• Tension patterns in the body

• The inner critic/superego

• Suppressed emotions

• Painful memories

• Limiting beliefs

• Identifications

• Self images

• Feelings of inadequacy

• The heaviness of the past

You get the point.

(These lists aren’t exhaustive by any means.)

Now that you’ve realized that, all you have to do is:

Untangle your attention (aka what you are) from these forces (aka what you’ve been conditioned to think you are).

How do you do that?

By picking 1 conscious force to delete (at a time) AND practicing the letting go method (24/7) to delete the unconscious forces (over time).

Here’s how to delete the conscious forces:

Pick 1 bad habit/conscious force to remove from your life at a time (extend the removal timeline to about 6 mo-1 year. If you can remove 1-2 destructive forces from your life each year, you’re doing great). Don’t try to tackle everything at once. It’s overkill and doesn’t work. Simply pick the biggest cause of your suffering and work to delete it from your life (hint: you delete bad habits by starving it of your attention).

Here’s how to delete the unconscious forces:

Stay present to yourself internally by sensing and feeling into your lower belly as much as possible. This will ground your energy and keep more of your consciousness in the here and now/in the seat of the Player. Then as you’re living your life and things unfold, you’ll notice very quickly that the events of your life trigger all different types of emotions inside you. In other words, something happens externally that touches something in your unconscious and the result is a suppressed emotion from the depths of your unconscious comes into your conscious awareness. Usually what you do is you either act out these emotions or you suppress these emotions and send them back into the unconscious. The key, however, is to view these emotions as the mold that makes up your unconscious and to remove it. How exactly do you do that? By practicing non-interference. Meaning when the emotions get triggered, simply breathe into your body and don’t touch anything internally. Keep your hands off your inner experience. Instead, relax the body as much as possible. What will happen is the emotion will get triggered, increase in intensity, and then eventually run its course and leave your consciousness for good. Doing this is the most effective way for letting go of the inner garbage we’ve all collected throughout our lives. But it takes a great degree of practice, so practice. It’s worth it because once you make the above an ongoing practice, your reward is a return to the spring of well being that lives inside you. Said another way:

Your True Nature is ultimately light, buoyant, free, joyful, alive, and completely at ease. But the gunk from the past is currently overshadowing this nature. So by practicising the letting go method (on a moment to moment basis), you inevitably start to remove the gunk from your consciousness and slowly, but surely return back to the ground of your fundamental nature that was previously covered up.

This, in return, feels really fucking good.

And is life changing to say the least.

But this is just the beginning of your new life (even though it will start to feel like you’ve won the game of life before even starting and in the deepest of ways… you have… because the return to the spring of well being is an eternal W that stays with you).

And that’s because now comes the next step.

Step 2. Consciously plug your attention into new power sources that are in alignment with the new identity/life that’s arising through you (aka add 1-3 positive habits)

After you have turned letting go into a moment by moment habit plus are actively removing the biggest and baddest negative conscious forces (1-2/year) from your life, then the reward (like I said) is a return to your nature that is ultimately light and free and joyful.

But that’s not all.

As you return to this nature and start to rest in the spring of well being, you quickly realize that the whole world has it wrong (surprise surprise). The whole world, you see, is trying to feel good by doing things externally. But it doesn’t work because the way life is designed is the spring of well being lives inside you. And it’s only through subtraction that you can access it.

This may initially come as a shock (and you may want to curse the gods above you for setting it up like this), but it’s really a blessing because it means freedom and goodness and aliveness is your birthright and accessible regardless of how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ your circumstances are.

(You can always let go… even if you’re in the most unbearable situation/circumstances.)

So with that understood, now comes the time to ask yourself:

What do I want to channel this inherent sense of aliveness/goodness into? In other words:

You’re now starting to brim with a sense of aliveness and energy that you probably haven’t felt since childhood and you’re quite literally walking around with more swagger in your step (love to see it!)

So what do you want to direct all this newfound energy towards? What and who do you want to become? What new life do you boldly want to walk into?

Only you can answer these questions, but I would encourage you to source the answer not from your familiar mind, but the spring of well being that you’re now making contact with.

Said another way:

This inherent life force (that knows you better than you know yourself) wants to flow in a certain direction (it’s different for each of us). The secret is to sense into the direction it wants to naturally go down (this will be the easiest and most rewarding life path for you) and to not interfere with it.

Maybe that means becoming a writer.

Maybe that means becoming an artist.

Maybe that means becoming a business owner.

Maybe that means becoming a surfer/beach bum.

I don’t know.

But whatever it is… you want to define this new ‘identity’ and then come up with the top 1-3 habits that are in alignment.

Again, you don’t want to pick too many habits and you don’t want to pick random habits. You want to pick habits that are in alignment with your newfound identity/life path.

These habits will be different for each of us, but to give you a personal example…

When I first set out to ‘become’ a direct response copywriter, the 3 daily habits I committed to were:

1. 20-60 minutes of handwriting/analyzing winning sales copy

2. Writing & shipping 1000 words of new copy/day (i.e. outreach emails, ads, client copy, etc.)

3. Reading 10 pgs/day from a classic copywriting book

That’s it.

By engaging in the above habits day in and day out, I eventually became the copywriter I desired to be and the new life path unlocked.

But again, that was just one example from my life.

Your life path will likely be different.

So sense into the spring of well being and come up with your daily 1-3 habits. Once you do, you can set up a simple habit tracker in an overpriced Moleskine notebook that consists of tracking just 4 things:

Thing #1. #1 habit that’s in alignment with your new identity

Thing #2. #2 habit that’s in alignment with your new identity

Thing #3. #3 habit that’s in alignment with your new identity

Thing #4. The biggest ‘bad habit/destructive conscious force’ you want to remove from your life (from the earlier step)

Maybe this looks like this (hypothetical example):

Thing #1. 4 hours of deep work/day.

Thing #2. Walk 10k+ steps

Thing #3. Reading/reviewing Mindset Folder 3x/day.

Thing #4. Bad habit to remove: Getting shitfaced every weekend.

Again, just an example.

But these now become your points of focus aka the ‘bridge’ that will connect the internal spring of well being with your desired reality/life path and set the stage for the next and last step.

Step 3. Sustain your attention until you win (aka unlock the upward spiral)

The secret now is to put on the blinders and keep your attention on nailing your above 4 things + continuously practicing the letting go technique (shared from above) to continuously clear out the unconscious.

Do that and you start to unlock the upward spiral of good fortune.

This is when life starts to get better and better.

And best of all?

There’s no end to how good it gets because your nature is infinite in its power/capacity.

–

By doing the above, you officially free yourself from the pains and afflictions that sting most people.

And break free by actually changing your life.

So there you have it!

This is the only process I’ve found that actually works (long term).

So use it or don’t.

But that’s all for me today.

Thanks for reading!

Your friend,

/tej

p.s. If you have any questions about ‘applying’ this process, shoot me a reply. If I get a lot of questions, I’ll write a follow up Q&A to this post.