33 Mini-Habits That (Quietly) Ruined My Life

Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

A few months ago, I wrote 33 mini-habits that (quietly) changed my life.

Now it’s only right that I give you the reverse aka the mini-habits that (quietly) ruined my life.

This is important because these mini-habits don’t really seem that big of a deal at the moment, but if you do them repeatedly…

You can very quickly destroy your life.

I’ve been there. I’ve done that.

So hopefully you can learn from my mistakes and either avoid these habits altogether or identify 1 or 2 from this list and put an end to them.

Coolio?

If so, let’s get into the list:

1. Making “yes” your default response (without thinking).

Why: In the moment, you don’t want to disappoint the person asking so you say yes without thinking. But later on, this creates obligations and demands on your time that you may not have which brews resentment and may lead you to backing out/cancelling/disappointing the person. This damages your will, relationships and personal follow through which is the bedrock to confidence. With that in mind, it’s best to avoid this altogether and say no from the jump. Only say yes if it’s a hell yes. Don’t say yes when you really mean “maybe” or “probably not, but I don’t have the balls to say no outright so I’m just going to say yes to string you along.”

2. Sleeping with your phone in your bedroom.

Why: How you start and end the day is pretty much what dictates the quality of your day. If you sleep with your phone in your bedroom, then you’re likely to start and end the day scrolling. This is a horrible habit to fall into, so make it easy on yourself by making the bedroom a phone free zone. This will naturally give rise to you starting and ending the day in a more healthier, productive, and fulfilling way (i.e. reading, meditation, stretching, whatever).

3. Using your iPhone as a swiss army device.

Why: I used to use my phone for everything. Calling, texting, listening to music, reading books, replying to emails, listening to audiobooks, using Slack for work, watching YouTube, using social media, calculating financial stuff, etc. This, in return, would give rise to high screen time, but also endless distraction loops.

In other words, I would open the phone to calculate something for business, but then see some random Whatsapp messages that would create unnecessary context switching and derail my focus. Avoid this by just using your phone for calling and texting. If you want to read, buy physical books or get a Kindle. If you want to listen to music, use an old iPod. If you want to crunch numbers, get a physical calculator or use Excel. This simplifies everything and drastically reduces screen time because it changes the association you have with your phone (whereas previously you would pick it up without thinking… you now pick it up only to call or text).

4. Thinking about your life (and getting caught in never ending thought loops) instead of sensing your experience (and allowing it to unfold).

Why: This one is subtle, but life changing. If you want your life to unfold fully and freely, stop thinking about it. Instead start sensing it from the inside out by asking yourself: What’s going on inside me? What am I feeling? What am I sensing? What is this all about? Get curious because the answers are contained in your experience. Nothing is random.

By sensing your experience and feeling it from the inside out, you actually allow your experience to deepen, unfold, and reveal its deeper truth. This, in return, results in real growth and effortless change that is far superior than the mind could ever imagine. (If you’re constantly thinking about your life, nothing will ever change. You’ll just continue to rearrange your thoughts in a million different ways, but keep the same room intact. Been there. Done that. Not fun.)

5. Slow response time (because you want to give the perfect answer)

Why: I’m still guilty of this and my reply game is trash as fuck. One because I get a lot of texts, messages, emails, DMs. But two because I fall into the mindset of wanting to give a detailed reply instead of a quick reply. This is a mistake because you’re sacrificing speed for perfection and perfection isn’t what the medium of texting/emailing/DMing is made for. It’s best to keep detailed responses to calls and keep texting for fast, efficient, quick responses to keep things moving in the right direction.

6. Trying to be creative while looking at a screen.

Why: I don’t know about you, but it’s hard for me to be creative while I’m looking at screens. It’s easier to be creative when I have a pen in hand and I’m looking at a fresh sheet of paper.

With that in mind, I wasted too much time trying to come up with creative ideas/angles/breakthroughs while seated at my desk with my eyes glued to the screen. Better use of my time would’ve been to leave my desk, touch grass, and carry a pocket notebook with me.

7. Identifying with the superego.

Why: The superego aka the inner critic is the internalization of the early judgments your parents/caregivers hit you with. And it exists to keep your familiar world intact. Problem is: When you identify with it (which is what we all do until we become aware of it), you maintain the boundaries that separate your small life from the big life.

Not only that, but the superego is the inner bully that is constantly yelling at you, belittling you, rejecting you, judging you, and making your life a living hell. By listening to it, you grow heavy, withdrawn, and become stuck. This gives rise to a very shitty, dull, repetitive experience of life.

Buck the trend by becoming aware of the superego and telling it to fuck off every chance you get because your life is at stake (recommended reading on this topic: Soul Without Shame by Byron Brown).

8. Working with other people in the room.

Why: This might just be a me thing, but I do my best work alone. I do my worst work around other people. This is the case because not only are other people more likely to distract you and pull you out of deep flow. But even if they don’t, there is always a possibility of it happening which kind of prevents your brain from completely losing itself in the task at hand.

Avoid this by waking up earlier or staying up later than everybody else. In addition, get a physical timer and point your desk to the wall (or a beautiful view). This is all you need to do your best work.

Yes, working in cafes and new locations sounds fun in theory, but it’s pretty trash in practice. At least for me. Save the cafes for journaling sessions (this works well because changing your physical location allows you to get a more objective view of where you’re at in life which is clarity inducing for journal sessions).

9. Having 1 random meeting scheduled in the afternoon.

Why: Either have 0 meetings scheduled (so you can truly lose yourself in deep work waters and forget about time altogether) or stack/schedule all your meetings into 1-2 days (so you can free up the rest of your week).

Scheduling 1 or 2 meetings per day puts you in no man’s land. You cannot lose yourself in your work. Nor can you develop a healthy flow/get in the zone to crush your meetings/calls. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

1 random meeting a day is a huge productivity killer.

10. Keeping up with the news, politics, toxic media.

Why: I know it seems important, but it’s really not. In the end what truly matters is the following: Did you wake up to the truth of who and what you are and live a full, complete, satisfying human life? Or did you remain asleep at the wheel, cut off from the depths of your being, and aimlessly spend your life lost in distractions? Nothing matters, but that. Keeping up with the news, politics, and toxic media will put you in the latter category instead of the former category. Not worth it. (Even though going down the latest conspiracy rabbithole is very tempting…)

11. Complaining/bitching/moaning.

Why: Every time you complain, bitch or moan… you are arguing with God and essentially saying: You know better. But do you, really? I thought I did, lol. Turns out, I didn’t. Avoid the urge to comment on your experience. Simply allow it to unfold and trust that reality is 100% benevolent (because it is).

12. Inconsistent sleep/wake times.

Why: The human psyche/biology thrives off routine. By sleeping and waking sporadically, you are fucking with your hardware. And not giving it what it needs to truly thrive. Not only that, but it makes it difficult to consistently hit your deep work hours because one day you’re waking up at x time and another day you’re waking at y time.

13. Drinking more than 1 cup of coffee a day.

Why: Coffee/caffeine puts you in your conditioning and makes you fall victim to your subconscious programming. The more caffeine you drink, the deeper you fall into conditioning. This doesn’t have to be the case, but most of us aren’t in touch with enough presence to counteract the effects of caffeine. So if your aim is to truly wake up to your true nature, it’s best to monitor your caffeine intake. And stick to just 0-1 cups/day. (Once you’ve seen through your conditioning, then coffee will have 0 effects. But in the beginning stages, too much caffeine can delay your progress.)

Another mini-habit related to coffee that ruined my life:

Drinking black coffee on an empty stomach because it fucks up your gut.

(Always hydrate and eat prior to drinking coffee.)

14. Doomscrolling.

Why: You are quite literally scrolling/self soothing your life away.

15. Breaking your word.

Why: Every time you say you’re going to do something and you don’t do it, you are teaching yourself to not trust yourself. This creates invisible scars and undermines your confidence.

16. Multi-tasking.

Why: Protect, build, and direct your energy towards 1 thing at a time. When you direct your energy in multiple directions, you are spreading yourself thin. And keeping yourself from truly succeeding.

17. Watching videos at 2x speed.

Why: This one is controversial and I still watch videos on 2x speed myself, but I do have to admit: The courses, content, and videos that fundamentally created a change in my life were not watched on 2x speed. They were watched at normal speed and given the required space for the material to truly land. This is important because: Videos that are sped up make you feel like you’re learning faster, but I find this just makes you consume more videos over time. And apply less of what you’re consuming. The fix is to consume less and consume slowly.

18. Living a cluttered life.

Why: How you do 1 thing is how you do everything. If you have a messy closet, then you probably have a messy car, financial life, and dating life too. This is the bad news. The good news? If you clean up clutter in one area, then you’ll experience the benefits in other areas too. All is connected for all exists inside the same consciousness that you are.

19. Taking things personally.

Why: Most people are not talking to you. They are unconsciously projecting an image of their mom or dad onto you and talking to that. When you take things personally, you are hurting yourself and clinging onto that which isn’t yours. Allow people to do what they will, but don’t take their words personally. Let them arise and pass.

20. Multiple communication platforms.

Why: I used to have 5+ different email addresses plus active, daily communication with different peoples on Whatsapp, iMsg, Telegram, Slack, Discord, Circle. This was a nightmare and lowkey a full-time job to manage. Avoid this and centralize your communication channels into 1-2. Ditch the rest and delete your old email accounts too.

21. Exposing your eyes & skin to blue light after sunset.

Why: It fucks up your circadian rhythm at best and creates a host of serious health problems/diseases/mental illnesses at worst.

22. Having visible black screens all over your house.

Why: I’m 100% unhinged with this take, but if you’re extra sensitive then you may notice that visible black screens (on iPhones, iPads, TVs, laptops/monitors, etc.) can act as portals that suck your energy, focus, vitality, and life force. With that being said, it’s best to keep these screens covered and your phone turned upside down.

(When I moved into my current home, I had no television screen for 3+ years. It was amazing and led to great conversations with friends and family. Then one day there was a big UFC event and I decided to host some friends for it, so I went out and got a TV and stuck it to the wall. That day, we had a lot of fun. But after that, I noticed just having the TV on the wall (black screen) impacted the energy in the space. And the conversations wouldn’t be as rich. Fixed this by getting rid of the TV.)

23. Not feeling your feelings.

Why: When you don’t feel your feelings, you suppress your feelings. By suppressing your feelings, you are giving rise to unconscious programming that will continue to impact you from the shadows. For example, let’s say I’m feeling murderous rage, but I was taught not to feel this feeling. Then I suppress it and take it out of my conscious awareness. What will happen now? I will project the contents of my unconscious onto the world and start viewing the world to be hostile/aggressive/cruel. And start to experience experiences that are in alignment with this belief which further validates it and creates more suffering. This is obviously a horrible orientation to life and it is created by not feeling your feelings. So feel your feelings to completion and realize no feeling is bigger than you.

(To feel your feelings doesn’t mean you act out your feelings or even believe your feelings. It simply means you feel your feelings internally and allow whatever is there to be felt unconditionally.)

24. Running away from yourself.

Why: Last year a lot was unfolding for me internally and it was quite a difficult and challenging process. I made it more difficult by running away from myself and going on benders all over the world. In the moment, I rationalized and told myself I was doing it because I wanted to explore x part of the world. But in truth, I was doing it to run away from the challenging process I was undergoing. This was fine and quite fun lol, but ultimately it did slow down my process and kept me stuck in the difficult quicksand for longer than was actually needed (because I kept circling the block instead of driving through the block once and for all).

25. Using devices with bluetooth.

Why: I used to throw on beats or Airpod Max’s while immersed in deep work waters and rock an Apple watch while working out. Over time, I noticed I would get headaches more often and also this weird feeling in my chest/heart area. I ditched both the headphones and the watch and the above symptoms went away. Not sure if they were the cause, but I don’t think having these devices near your body is a good idea (long term). These days, I stick to wired headphones and in terms of watches, I’ve been enjoying going back to rocking a normal watch. I’ve bought a lot of watches throughout the years (at all different price points), but here’s my 3 favorite watches:

• G-Shock GW-5000U-1JF

• Longines Presence dress watch

• Omega Speedmaster 3861

26. Not taking multi-forms of magnesium sooner.

Why: I’ve been on health twitter for a minute (since 2018) and obviously have seen a lot of talk related to magnesium. And I have been taking magnesium since then, but kind of a pussy dose. Recently, I started taking multiple forms of magnesium (magnesium taurate & malate in the AM, magnesium chloride in my drinking water, magnesium glycinate in the PM) and worked my way up to 1 gram/day and it’s been incredible.

(Not medical advice.)

27. Reading mainstream self help books.

Why: The self they’re trying to improve is the self that you’re unconsciously identified with that doesn’t even exist in reality. By reading self help books, you deepen your identification with it (and hold yourself captive). Instead of reading self help, read fiction, biographies, spiritual and religious texts. The former speaks to what you lack. The latter awakens powers/potential that society conditioned you to suppress.

28. Always being in a rush.

Why: Being in a rush is a tell tale sign that you’re living on somebody else’s terms. Ok for a season, but not ok for a lifetime.

29. Holding tightly onto money.

Why: In the early days of my business career, I was conditioned to hold tightly onto money (middle class immigrant parent programming… you know how it goes). This was based on good intentions, but in reality it kept me from actually using money as a tool to move the needle forward. It wasn’t until I started loosening my grip on money that I started making bigger sums of money.

30. Choosing intensity over consistency.

Why: It’s better to do x good thing 15 minutes/day and do it every day than it is to do x good thing 1 hour/day, but only 1x/week.

31. Consuming content mindlessly.

Why: The majority of the world is depressed, broke, obese, divorced, and living lives you don’t want to emulate. So when you mindlessly consume content, you are programming your brain to think like most people. This, in return, will give rise to a similar life experience. Avoid by not brainwashing yourself with content that is created for the masses and by the masses.

32. Labelling things to be hard.

Why: The mind sets filters that determine how you view a task. If you label it as hard (i.e. making money online is hard), then you will experience the process through the filters of challenge, obstacles, and hardship. If you view everything as easy, it will become easy. Use the mind to work for you. Not against you.

And finally…

33. Reading content or watching videos that are titled “33 mini-habits that (quietly) ruined my life”

Why: It’s written for the algorithm. Not for you. Real juice is found by going deep (and within). Not broad (and out).

Thanks for reading ;-)

Your friend,

/tej